Artorius Castus

Senility and Gentility-A Study in Legislative Geriatrics Part II

Posted in Uncategorized by Patrick Truax on November 1, 2007

As some might recall back when Artorius was young and idealistic, I posted a series of articles of the more senior members of our US Senate . We touched on Ted Kennedy first, but unfortunately the Chivas Delivery arrived, so the interviews were all cancelled. We did get a couple inches of ink in, though. However, Events overtook us, so we are just now able to begin the outline of another Senator who should be removed due to term limits.

We won’t bore you with his silver spoon upbringing; he’s boring enough just breathing.

John Forbes Kerry was another New England silver spooner. I don’t know where the money came from and I don’t care. All I know is John lived the good life with boarding schools, the Ivy League, and Boston social pages. John was also a Naval Officer. I guess he felt he had better have Military experience under his belt, before starting to run for office. But as John’s time in Vietnam became more hostile, he started seeing the same way the anti-war people were seeing back home. There is a lot of controversy about his time in Vietnam, but somehow he got out early, after acquiring three Purple Hearts under dubious circumstances (one of the purple hearts was for a piece of rice that got embedded in Kerry’s ass when a bullet hit the sack that held the rice). Which for the purpose of the article really doesn’t matter. What does matter is what he did upon his return to the US. He started hanging around with college anti-war types (probably for the girls)and turned commie. In 1970, Kerry appeared at the Paris Peace Conference and met with North Viet-Namese Communist leaders. The problem with this stunt is that John was still technically a Naval Officer meeting with the enemy while the two countries were still at war.

Certainly, this should have attracted the attention of Naval Investigators. But no one really knows what happened. John went about his business becoming a prosecutor and I believe he was in the House, too. During the early 70’s it was prudent to be against the war; now during the years after 9-11 your military credentials can enhance your political career. After being elected to the Senate in 1986, John hadn’t really done much legislatively. He loved the functions, the cocktail hours and the rich broads. One he ended up marrying. But as his tenure in the Senate lengthened, John was known for foolish things like voting against funding for the Contra’s and backing the lead Sandinista, Daniel Ortega.

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As you can see Kerry is quite comfortable with Fidel’s bootlicker

John Forbes Kerry married Teresa something or other in the 90’s. She was once married to a rich Republican Senator, who died in ’91. When Kerry married her, he was marrying a rich widow. Nothing wrong with it, especially when you are planning a Run For The Roses.

By 2002, it was a forgone conclusion, that Kerry would be at least a candidate. He surprised everyone by doing so well in Iowa, that by the time Howard Dean’s PCP-induced scream had down died, he was the frontrunner. The more ink and exposure Kerry got, the more the Viet Nam vets grumbled. Some knew him from Nam, others remembered how he spoke to the US Senate in 1971, accusing fellow troops of rape and murder.

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During his anti-war testimony before capitol hill, Kerry accuses US soldiers of war crimes and atrocities.

As the campaign season unfolded, a number of folks who had served with Kerry and those that remembered his actions in Paris and before the Senate, got together together and formed a group dedicated to bringing the truth about Kerry’s Military service to the public. While the lefties, democrats and Kerry himself cried foul over the tactics, the boob had opened the door to the scrutiny by declaring himself “Reporting for Duty” at his acceptance speech at the Convention.

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Kerry Staffers told us later, it took Kerry three hours to practice the salute right

The campaign was bristling with Gaffes such as the, “I voted for the 87 Billion, before I voted against it” and the huge family fight the Kerrys got into on the “Campaign-vacation” out west. When the gaffes evolved into slapstick, like Kerry calling the Hallowed Ground of Green Bay, Wisconsin, Lambert Field, and the gratuitous murder of a goose (by someone else!) to demonstrate Kerry’s hunting prowess, he knew he had better at least LOOK like a normal American. He played the part well, too. He sauntered up to game and bait shop counter, with his best “Im not a snobby, elite, liberal, gait, and with his still needing practice “little people” accent, he intoned, “Where can Uh get Me a HuTTin license?”

The gaffes continued up to the Presidential Debates. The best one was, Kerry handlers fearing his Tan wasn’t deep enough and painted him orange. He showed up on stage looking like a friggin traffic cone.

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“Whats the matter? Never seen a suntan before?”

And since then, what? Aside from all of the boobery and bungling,

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Kerry loves his orange…

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Kerry lost a million votes on this pic alone

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Campaign stop at the Bolshoy

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Where he posed with his Running mate, John Edwards

But despite the Keystone Cop Affair that was the Kerry campaign, he was still able to garner about 45% of the vote. Shocking, when you recall all the bungling on the campaign trail-the gin raisins, mowing over a Secret Service agent and blaming it on the agent, being painted orange, the bussed in union thugs sitting in for Kerry supporters in Cleveland, while on the same day, GW’s rally in Cincinatti closed an interstate, and had to stop accepting tickets because so many people showed up. The bottom line is people, 45% of the electorate voted for this clown. What does that say about 2008?
Stay tuned for another congressional geriatric expose soon.

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One Response

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  1. Patrick Truax said, on November 2, 2007 at 1:05 pm

    This bungling oaf managed to get 45% of the vote with the willing help of the media. How much do you think Hillary will get with that same media helping her?


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