Artorius Castus

Artorius Castus Exclusive: Gene Migration

Posted in Uncategorized by Patrick Truax on October 17, 2007

Ever since the story was posted yesterday about the Giant Squid, something nagged at one of the scientists in the Artorius DNA lab. She worked well past midnight and promptly at 0800, she arrived handing the editorial staff a manuscript. We have been busy ever since. The DNA expert was troubled by the relationship between the squid’s eye and various humans she had seen. Could a gene migrate across evolutionary lines? Thats was the basis for the PhD’s manuscript.

Jennifer Resnick, Phd, Microbiology, and Artorius science staffer was convinced there was a link between the squid eye and various human eyes. While she set up the study, the editorial staff hit the phones. Our first call was to Woods Hole, MA, where we talked to the leading biologist there, who seemed kind of miffed we would even ask. “Of course the possibility exists that there is cross evolutionary migration for genes!” he thundered. “How do you think we are still living with apes if we’re supposed to be descended from them?” and he hung up.

Our next call was to the Cousteau Foundation. “Of course we believe in the possibility that certain genes migrated from marine life to humans,” the Frenchman said patiently, “the fish crawled out of the sea, no?”

Well, that was good enough for us, but not Jennifer. Being a Scientist, she had methods to follow, and would employ them to the letter. The bombshell of the discovery would have to be confirmed over and over, and she didnt want to make any mistakes.

First she started with a control group:

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at PhotobucketPhoto Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Then brought in the squid,

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

And finally the test group

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at PhotobucketPhoto Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

When all the data from the squid and the control group was compared, it was irrefutable. There was no doubt there was more similarity from the test group and the squid than the control group and squid. “Notice the wide, bug eyed stare from the pics of the, er humans,” said Jennifer. “Now, look at the Squid’s eye. Clearly the five share some alleles.”

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5 Responses

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  1. Patrick Truax said, on October 17, 2007 at 8:42 pm

    These are our conclusions. Its kind of tough knowing that the third in line for the Presidency has alleles in common with Architeuthis..

  2. Anonymous said, on October 17, 2007 at 11:58 pm

    That runaway bride was a freaky story, so was the mothership guy.

  3. Elizabeth said, on October 18, 2007 at 1:34 am

    Bwahahahahaha!!!!

  4. Catty Ax Lady said, on October 18, 2007 at 3:05 am

    SHIZHA!!! Definite genetic migration happening.

  5. Anonymous said, on October 19, 2007 at 5:14 am

    MJ looks like he’s made of plastic


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